This photo captures one of the incredibly joyful moments that
Tyler and I have been blessed with over the past couple months. It represents everything that is lovely and
pure…it represents a precious moment which I will keep treasured in my heart
for years to come. But what this photo
doesn’t express is the dark chaos that has also found its way into my life. They don’t show the fear and distrust that
has recently competed for space in my heart.
This is because they are the kind of moments you DON’T take photos
of. They are the memories that you wish would
disappear, but you know won’t.
In a split second life changed for us. In a moment, we were confronted with the fragility
of life, and from that learned that life was not ours to take for granted. While I have always “known” that at any time
my life could be snatched away from me, I had never been faced with the reality
of what this actually means. Never
before had I had an experience which forced me to examine how I live my life or
one which caused to me to really question whether I was living for tomorrow or whether
I was focusing on the joy and wonder of what today brings. And through this I have learned a lot about
fear. About how it can take hold of you;
take you captive; make you doubt in things you once trusted. That fear can paralyze you and make you
afraid of the dark if you allow it. I
have, for the first time, truly understood why the children that we care for in
the community sleep with the light on.
Just last week I skyped with a dear friend of mine and as I
recounted certain events to her, I found myself laughing. She asked me how I could possibly laugh in
the midst of this…and truthfully I didn’t know what to say. Looking back now, I can say that I can laugh because
of all I have gained from this incredible difficult struggle. I can laugh because I am here…healthy, safe
and loved. And I can laugh because I
have also learned that I can make the CHOICE not to be afraid. I can choose to trust in God completely,
believing His promise that he is always with me and that He will rescue me in
times of trouble! I can believe that He
will “cover me with His feathers, and that under His wings I will find refuge,
because His faithfulness is my shield and rampart.” That I have no need to “fear the terror of
the night” because when I call on His name, He will answer me. I can trust that because He has “redeemed me
and summoned me by name to be His witness and His servant ” He will “renew my
strength. And because of His love “I will soar on wings
like eagles. I will run and not grow weary;
I will walk and not grow faint.” (Psalm
90:4-5, Isaiah 43:1,8,10 & 40:31)
-a
3 comments:
Personal and spiritual growth always seems to come in the face of adversity. Thank you dear one for sharing your heart of hearts. Seeing God's work in your life is by far more precious than gold. We love you and will continue to pray for your safekeeping.
Mom & Dad
Isn't it amazing where God takes us or takes us thru (in my case)....to learn trust in the midst of the storm...
Your words have inspired ME today..
Blessings and God's continued covering over you both! Carol xoxo
thank you for your sharing your heart, like mum says, the Lord keep you in his care and you walk out your calling where He wants you to be at this time. blessings Jeannine
Post a Comment