Captivated by the Gaze of Christ

“Faith means to find, hold to, and cast my anchor on the foundation (the living, dying, and rising of the Lord Jesus Christ) and so to be held by it.  Faith means to base life on a foundation outside myself, on an eternal and holy foundation, on Christ.  Faith means to be captivated by the gaze of Jesus Christ; one sees nothing but him.  Faith means to be torn out of imprisonment in one’s own ego, liberated by Jesus Christ.” – D. Bonhoffer

Recently I was asked to share about Faith during a service at our church.  For some time I wrestled with what to say.  What did I know about true faith?  I felt inadequate to speak to a church about something that I was, and am, still growing in.  Not knowing where to begin, I sought advice from my wise husband who led me to Hebrews 11:1-2.  Here Paul defines faith as “the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen [for] it gives us the assurance about things we cannot see”.   This really made me think about how much of my life I have lived “comfortable” with not much need for real true faith.  Everything I ever needed was given to me – I had control over my life completely and so what use did I have for God?  But it has only been in recent years that I have come to see that the foundation I had built was one based on self…a self whose worth was dependent on other’s opinions about me, whose brokenness hurt those I loved most around me and whose insecurities birthed anger, intolerance, judgement and jealousy.  And it was through living in community here in Africa, that I came face to face with my limitations, weaknesses and the dark places in my heart.  But it was also through this same community that I am learning to humbly serve and love those around me.  I am learning what it means to find healing within the embrace of others who desire the same thing.  I am learning to commit myself to my Father’s plan and trust him in it.  I am learning that I need to have a life which, as Bonhoffer explains, is based on a foundation OUTSIDE myself, on the unshakable love of Christ.  And lastly, I am learning what it means to have genuine, true, active faith…and I am indebted to many of our African leaders for teaching me this over the past five years.

One woman in particular, Towela, has taught me what is means to live out what James speaks about in chapter 2:14-17.  Her life demonstrates that deep faith must produce good deeds for it to be complete.  Not only does the choice she has made to dedicate her life to hundreds of children by serving with Hands at Work in Zambia demonstrate such faithful servanthood, the choices she makes in her family life reflect this as well.  Living in a tiny two bedroom house with her husband and 4 children, Towela never thought twice when they decided to take in Rose, a girl who was neglected, abused, taken advantage of and is suffering in many other ways, as their own.  Never once did she weigh their expenses against their limited income when her sister and other family members have arrived on her doorstep needing a place to live.  Never once did she say “no, we don’t have room for you.”  For when she has come across the hungry, she feeds them; the thirsty, she gives them drink; the stranger, a roof over their heads and the naked, clothing to wear.  She cares for the sick and visits those who are weary and have been cast out.  With no assurance of money to do these things, Towela daily acts in faith because she knows that Jesus would do the same for her.  She acts from her heart, with TRUST that as she reaches out to care for others God will care for her. 

For me, Towela’s life vividly illustrates the calling that each of us who follow Christ are held to – to humbly serve the poor, the distressed, the widows and the dying (James 1:27).  In Romans 10:15, it says “How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring good news” – And this is the reason Towela’s dusty, calloused and worn feet are beautiful…because each morning she CHOOSES to wake up and live out the Good News.  She, along with our other African leaders: James, Sukai, Audrey, Farai, Florence, Peter, Levi, Blessings, Mbuzi, Trina, Roy and Erick, are carrying out the vision to demonstrate with words and actions, the full gospel of Jesus. 

They are each walking alongside hundreds of Care Workers across Africa, sharing with them the deep love of Christ…making very real the truth that Jesus has been “sent to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed.” That he has been sent “to tell those who mourn that the time of the Lord’s favor has come.” And that “to all who mourn, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair [and] in their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory.  They will rebuild the ancient ruins, repairing cities destroyed long ago” (Isaiah 61:1b-4a). It is through their own brokenness that these leaders are choosing to help carry the burdens that our Care Workers carry, and are thus becoming apart of God’s plan for healing and transformation in their lives. 

And so it is through all of this that faith is built.  As Towela serves her people, her faith is strengthened; as the Care Workers learn more about Jesus, their faith is strengthened (for “faith comes from hearing, that is, the good News of Christ” - Romans 10:17); and as I bear witness to these lives dedicated to love, my faith is strengthened.  It is through people like Towela, that I have begun to understand what it really means to love.  Not because I think that she has it all figured out, or that she is perfect…But because I know that she can live this life because she has embraced her imperfections and bore her wounds.  Because she has acknowledged her weaknesses and therefore must depend on God for her strength.  It is because she is completely convinced that “nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.” (Romans 8:38).
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